deborahjross | A passage

My elderly cousin, Ben Burke, died this morning. He was somewhere in his late 80s and had had emphysema for a long time. His daughter writes he said a number of times he was ready to go, and he went peacefully in his sleep.

I find myself quite emotional. Certainly, glad I made the effort to see him three times since he entered hospice. Even more glad I was sure to tell him I loved him. But also, I did not quite appreciate the impact of losing a kind, gentle man who has been part of my entire life. I can't quite wrap my mind around never being able to talk with him again, to share our mutual passion for books, to reminisce about family history, to hear his perspective on present troubles.

He leaves behind two amazing daughters and their families, and his wife (whose father located my father as an orphan in post-WW I Warsaw and helped him immigrate to the US, which is why I am here) and lots of cousins of various degrees. I think he was the last of his siblings.

I'll probably lay low and cancel everything non-crucial for the next period of time. Try to work, play the piano. Watch sad movies. Let the feelings move through me.

Blessings on all of us,