A passage

[deborahjross]

My elderly cousin, Ben Burke, died this morning. He was somewhere in his late 80s and had had emphysema for a long time. His daughter writes he said a number of times he was ready to go, and he went peacefully in his sleep.



I find myself quite emotional. Certainly, glad I made the effort to see him three times since he entered hospice. Even more glad I was sure to tell him I loved him. But also, I did not quite appreciate the impact of losing a kind, gentle man who has been part of my entire life. I can't quite wrap my mind around never being able to talk with him again, to share our mutual passion for books, to reminisce about family history, to hear his perspective on present troubles.

He leaves behind two amazing daughters and their families, and his wife (whose father located my father as an orphan in post-WW I Warsaw and helped him immigrate to the US, which is why I am here) and lots of cousins of various degrees. I think he was the last of his siblings.

I'll probably lay low and cancel everything non-crucial for the next period of time. Try to work, play the piano. Watch sad movies. Let the feelings move through me.

Blessings on all of us,

Comments

Peace be upon you

[meirwen.livejournal.com]

"David" and sopranos (Psalm 23)
Adonai ro-i, lo eḥsar.
Bin'ot deshe yarbitseini,
Al mei m'nuḥot y'naḥaleini,
Naf'shi y'shovev,
Yan'ḥeini b'ma'aglei tsedek,
L'ma'an sh'mo.
(sopranos)
Gam ki eilech
B'gei tsalmavet,
Lo ira ra,
Ki Atah imadi.
Shiv't'cha umishan'techa
Hemah y'naḥamuni.
(Tenors and basses (Psalm 2, vs. 1-4))
Lamah rag'shu goyim
Ul'umim yeh'gu rik?
Yit'yats'vu malchei erets,
V'roznim nos'du yaḥad
Al Adonai v'al m'shiḥo.
N'natkah et mos'roteimo,
V'nashlichah mimenu avoteimo.
Yoshev bashamayim
Yis'ḥak, Adonai
Yil'ag lamo!
(sopranos (Psalm 23))
Ta'aroch l'fanai shulchan
Neged tsor'rai
Dishanta vashemen roshi
Cosi r'vayaḥ.
"David"
Ach tov vaḥesed
Yird'funi kol y'mei ḥayai
V'shav'ti b'veit Adonai
L'orech yamim.



The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth me beside the still waters,
He restoreth my soul,
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness,
For His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk
Through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For Thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff
They comfort me.

Why do the nations rage,
And the people imagine a vain thing?
The kings of the earth set themselves,
And the rulers take counsel together
Against the Lord and against His anointed.
Saying, let us break their bonds asunder,
And cast away their cords from us.
He that sitteth in the heavens
Shall laugh, and the Lord
Shall have them in derision!

Thou preparest a table before me
In the presence of my enemies,
Thou anointest my head with oil,
My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy
Shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

[patchwork-prose.livejournal.com]

It's good to be touched by the world and the people placed within it. Good to make a space for the feelings to arise and be acknowledged. Holding you in the Light.

[lingster1.livejournal.com]

Condolences, Deborah. It's hard to lose a beloved relative, even if they themselves are ready to go.

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear that...

Thanks, all

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

Thank you all for your kind messages. I don't have the emotional energy to respond to each one, but I very much appreciate being tenderly held by this community.