Nicknames?

[deborahjross]

In another internet social medium, I've been conversing with a new friend (in England, I think), who calls me Debs. I'm so amused by this, I haven't commented. No one has ever used that nickname for me before.

When I was little -- really little, like 3 -- I was Debbie. Okay, I get that. I had dimples and curls. Then in high school, in a fit of adolescent rebellion, I dropped the final "e." I thought I was being so original! (Yeah, what did I know, but isn't that how teenage minds work?) By the time I got to college, I was Deb, or that's what most of my friends called me.

Somewhere in my 20s, though, a wondrous alchemy took place. I thought, "the original Deborah was an amazing, powerful woman, a war leader, judge, and prophet. Why would I want to be any less than her full namesake?" From then on, I was Deborah. All 3 syllables.

It took a little convincing to resign Debbi to the archives, but gradually, as I consistently introduced myself as Deborah and asked friends to use that name, the changeover happened. I used to say there were only 3 people alive entitled to call me Debbie, and they had all known me since I was a baby. Now there is only one, and I love her so much, she has been part of my life for so long, she can call me anything she wants.

What to do with Debs? It reminds me of Eugene Debs, and I want to giggle every time I read it. Maybe it's time to stop being rigid about what I'm called. I know who I am.

Comments

[davetrow.livejournal.com]

I think I get more upset about people calling you Deb than you do. I did NOT marry a Deb, or a Debbie.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

We're kind of reversed that way, since you so strongly prefer Dave over David.

[otana.livejournal.com]

I think it might be a bit of an English thing? I kneejerked and shorted both yours and Elizabeth's names when I got here, Sarah corrected me. Partly because I have an aunt called Deb, but I don't know, it seemed very natural to shorten names? Even MY name was shortened (and I absolutely hate it).

It's a gesture of affection, now that I think about it. Steven is a guy you work with, but Steve is your buddy. Joanna is that woman you know at the gym, but Jo is the friend you like chatting with.

Not to say that everyone in England loves the naming convention by any means, but I thought maybe an outside perspective might help a bit.

Maybe it's time to stop being rigid about what I'm called. I know who I am.

This is a good philosophy. People sometimes tie themselves up in the exact pronunciation of Otana and I tell them to pronounce it however they find it easiest. After decades of snapping at people for playing with my real name, it was refreshing to just go with the flow for once.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

I'm taking the nickname as a sign of friendliness. There's no point in getting obnoxious with someone who knows me only briefly from my phosphors. Who knows, I might remind her of a Debs she really likes?

[otana.livejournal.com]

Exactly! That said, I don't see any problem with gently correcting her if it does bother you. Better sooner than later. :3

[flyinamazon.livejournal.com]

I work for a "Debbie". About half the staff shortens it to Deb. Mostly "Deb" gets used in informal, direct correspondence.

I've answered to "Marcie" (my name), "Marci", "Marcy" (the homophones are all in email), "Marsha", "Mars" (with a soft "s"), "Marcella", and the oddest -- people in several parts of my life have independently started calling me "Miss Marcie" (including one coworker).

I gave up correcting folks years ago. I'll answer to anything polite.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

Answering to anything polite is definitely a grown-up thing to do.

Mars strikes me as equivalent to Debs, or Jules for Julia/Julie. Isn't it odd and wonderful how our friends want to make us plural?

[paper-birch.livejournal.com]

I started out with the burden of being a Jennifer in the seventies, along with just about every other girl around. I did my time as Jenny, up until I decided the diminutive version made it easier to take me less seriously, and I was all about being taken seriously.

Not to mention my boyfriend left me for a friend also named Jenny...

Anyway, I went with Jennifer or Jen for years. At this point, there are very few people who call me Jenny. It feels sweet now, like a loving code word.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

Yep, different versions of our names fit for different phases in our lives.

When my first kid was born, I wanted to give her a name that wasn't easily turned into a nickname. Hence, Sarah (this was before it was trendy.) So she invented a different and easily abbreviate-able name for herself. Number two was Rose. What was I thinking? But she never was a Rosie. Way too forceful a personality.

[manawolf.livejournal.com]

Oh I don't know, Rosie the Riveter sets a pretty awesome precedent.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

And your sister has always been determined to take the world by a storm.

[manawolf.livejournal.com]

A coworker surprised me by shortening my name to "Sare." That's pretty dedicated to the least possible number of syllables. I didn't mind, although I do mind people dropping the "h" in text (especially when it's RIGHT THERE in the email header) - but the people who do that are often shareholders and they can call us anything they want, really.

On the other hand "Mana," shortened from my furry moniker, is a nickname I respond to with enthusiasm.

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of my reaction when I get a phone call asking for either Mrs. Ross or Mrs. Trowbridge. Neither person exists, which I point out, along with the comment that clearly they do not know me.

I love the Quaker custom of using both first and last names for both men and women, married or not, no Mr. or Mrs. or any other any title. Plain, as they would say, and egalitarian.