Groupmind blurb critique, Round 2

[deborahjross]

How about this?

Northlight: She's a Ranger, a wild and savvy knife-fighter, determined to get help in finding her partner who's lost on the treacherous northern border. He's a scholar who sees visions, eager to escape the confines of city life and the shadow of his charismatic mother. With the assassination of Laurea's beloved leader and the city in turmoil, the two have only each other to turn to. What begins as a rescue mission turns deadly as together they unravel the secret that lies beneath Laurea's idyllic surface.

Comments

Blurb

[davetrow.livejournal.com]

It's not clear the first time through that "Laurea" is the planet, rather than the Ranger's name.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I really like that.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

with the assassination of the city's beloved leader and the resulting turmoil, or something like that, so we don't stop and try to guess if Laurea is person, place, or thing. Otherwise? Awesome!!!

[deborahjross.livejournal.com]

MANY THANK-YOUs, all!

I shall take the suggestions about the first "Laurea" under advisement and get this up shortly.