Deborah J. Ross (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deborahjross) wrote2011-11-29 02:12 pm
deborahjross) wrote2011-11-29 02:12 pm
A blog of hope and pain
Earlier this year, I had the privilege of attending a seminar put on by Murder Victim Families For Human Rights, and I got to meet other family members of victims and also families of those who have been convicted or executed. The most poignant, excruciating stories came from those who are both -- those who have lost loved ones to violence and to the death penalty. As horrific as my own story is, I cannot begin to imagine how painful that is. I stand in awe of the courage of those who have been able to walk through that agony to a place of compassion.
One of these people was Charity Lee. Her father was a 1980 murder victim; in 2007, her son murdered her daughter. She's set up a foundation in her daughter's name, ELLA, to prevent violence and to advocate for human rights through education, criminal justice reform, and victim advocacy. Recently, she added a blog.
She writes, I miss my kids. I miss them both. I do not care that one was murdered and that one is a murderer. All I know is they are not here and I miss them. I want them here, with me, and I want them now. I want to see them, touch them, hear them, smell them, and wrap them in my arms. I would move heaven and earth to decorate a Christmas tree with my children tonight. I would eat dirt for the rest of my days to bake cookies for Santa with them on Christmas Eve. I would crawl on my knees until I died if I could see their faces on Christmas morning one more time. But I cannot. Ella is dead. Paris is in jail. Neither of the ones I love are with me this holiday season.
...
So if you miss a loved one because they have been murdered, if you miss a loved one because they are a murderer, if you miss a loved one the government has murdered, if you miss a loved one unjustly imprisoned and you hate the damn holidays, hate them with good cause. Then use that pain to create something good. On the days it is impossible to create good feel free to crawl into bed, pull the covers over your head, and try again another day because where there is huge pain there is also huge hope. Sometimes you just have to bury your head in the covers to find it again.
Either way…hang in there. It gets better. I make that promise to us both.
Stop what you're doing. Read the whole post. Open your heart.
If you "Like" it on FB, it opens a window and you can leave a comment. Let her know she's not alone. If you've got a few extra bucks, help her out in her work. If not, light a candle in the dark for us all.
One of these people was Charity Lee. Her father was a 1980 murder victim; in 2007, her son murdered her daughter. She's set up a foundation in her daughter's name, ELLA, to prevent violence and to advocate for human rights through education, criminal justice reform, and victim advocacy. Recently, she added a blog.
She writes, I miss my kids. I miss them both. I do not care that one was murdered and that one is a murderer. All I know is they are not here and I miss them. I want them here, with me, and I want them now. I want to see them, touch them, hear them, smell them, and wrap them in my arms. I would move heaven and earth to decorate a Christmas tree with my children tonight. I would eat dirt for the rest of my days to bake cookies for Santa with them on Christmas Eve. I would crawl on my knees until I died if I could see their faces on Christmas morning one more time. But I cannot. Ella is dead. Paris is in jail. Neither of the ones I love are with me this holiday season.
...
So if you miss a loved one because they have been murdered, if you miss a loved one because they are a murderer, if you miss a loved one the government has murdered, if you miss a loved one unjustly imprisoned and you hate the damn holidays, hate them with good cause. Then use that pain to create something good. On the days it is impossible to create good feel free to crawl into bed, pull the covers over your head, and try again another day because where there is huge pain there is also huge hope. Sometimes you just have to bury your head in the covers to find it again.
Either way…hang in there. It gets better. I make that promise to us both.
Stop what you're doing. Read the whole post. Open your heart.
If you "Like" it on FB, it opens a window and you can leave a comment. Let her know she's not alone. If you've got a few extra bucks, help her out in her work. If not, light a candle in the dark for us all.