Sep. 13th, 2009

deborahjross: (Deb and Cleo)
From thriller writer James Scott Bell, some comments on writing action scenes. An excerpt:

Fiction is the stylized rendition of reality for an emotional effect.

Reality is boring. Reality is not drama. Reality is to be avoided at all costs ("We must stay drunk on writing," Ray Bradbury once said, "so reality does not destroy us.")
deborahjross: (dolomites)
Well, more of a scene. From early in the book:

HASTUR LORD Snippet 1

Wrapped in his fur-lined travel cloak, Regis stormed across High Windward's courtyard. Danilo stood talking with one of the grooms and the headman's son from the village. The ponies and pack animal were saddled and ready to go. The Red Sun was well up, radiating a tentative warmth.

Danilo smiled pleasantly as Regis approached. "Good morning, my lord. Did --"

"Let's get out of here!" Regis snapped. He did not wait for any assistance, but grabbed the reins of his pony from the groom, thrust the toe of his left boot in the near stirrup, and swung into the saddle.

Danilo's eyes widened for an instant. He gestured to the headman's son and handed a small purse to the groom. Regis had already booted his pony into a trot, headed for the outer gates, when Danilo caught up with him. The ponies, fresh and eager, jogged down the ice-hard trail.

Despite the easy gait of his mount, each step jarred his clenched teeth. He knew he should not press the ponies so early in the day, that they would require their strength to reach the village or risk having to camp overnight in the open. The need to get away as fast as possible consumed him.

"Regis! Vai dom, what is wrong?" Danilo's voice held a note of true concern. "Has something happened?"

"She said no!"

"No? I don't understand. Will you slow down and talk to me? You're upset . . ."

A harmonic of distress in Danilo's voice brought Regis back to himself. When he touched the reins, the pony dropped back into a walk and heaved a sigh at this return to sanity.

"She said no," Danilo prompted. "She will not come to Thendara and work with Lawton's son? Why not?"

Glancing back, Regis made certain that the headman's son was far enough behind so that they would not be easily overheard. "I asked her to marry me and she refused, quite emphatically."

With his nerves still raw from the interview with Linnea, Regis felt Danilo's emotional reaction, astonishment and anger.

"I am surprised to hear it," Danilo said, his eyes focused between the ears of his mount. "Indeed, I cannot think what she must be thinking. I was under the impression that there was not a woman in all the Seven Domains, except a few among the Renunciates, who would not leap at the chance to become Lady Hastur."

Regis could think of no reply. He did not know if he was more angry at Linnea or at himself, for having mishandled the proposal so badly. For good or ill, the words were spoken, the offer rejected.

You can't put a banshee chick back into its egg, ran the old proverb. At the moment, he would much rather have tackled one of the giant carnivorous birds than his own feelings.

Several minutes passed in silence, broken only by the muted clop of the ponies' hooves and the creak of the leather harnesses. The breaths of men and beasts made plumes of mist in the cold dry air. The trail steepened, and the animals slowed to pick their way.

Their way wound along the side of the mountain, from which sprang an enormous knuckle of bare rock, the outcropping on which High Windward perched. From time to time, they caught glimpses of the peaks beyond, the sloping meadows draped in layers of hardened snow. Morning sun turned the ice-encased trees into confections of crystalline beauty.

Regis sensed Danilo's storm cloud mood. "Let's have it. Are you glad she rejected me?"

"When were you going to tell me?" Danilo said tightly. "On your wedding night? Or when you ordered me to find housing elsewhere?"

"I am telling you, now. I swear to you I did not come here with the intention of proposing marriage to her, or even asking her to become my ceremonial consort --"

"Or your seamstress, for all that matters! You owe me no explanations, vai dom."

"Danilo, don't go all formal, my-lord-this, my-lord-that, on me. I only decided on it last night."

I know what you were doing last night.

"Stop it!" Regis cried. "If I've given you cause to be jealous, tell me. I won't have it festering between us. If all the malicious gossip of the court, not to mention Grandfather's machinations, could not drive a wedge between us, how can one failed marriage proposal?"

"You think I'm jealous?" Danilo turned to him, and Regis saw the hurt in his paxman's eyes. "That's not it at all! I know very well that you are expected to furnish the Comyn with as many sons as you can. I accepted your liaisons with women over the years, even the malicious gossip you spoke of. Did I complain when you and Linnea became lovers? Did I do anything to make life more difficult for you? Did I ever -- once -- ask you to set her or any other woman aside?"

"No, you have ever been faithful to the vows we swore to one another." If there has been a failing, it has been mine.

"Then why this sudden change?" Danilo demanded. "Why, when you were so opposed to marriage, when you consistently defied your grandfather and the entire Council on the matter, did you suddenly take it into your head to do it? Why did you keep it secret? Do you have so little trust in me? What else are you hiding?"

Regis rocked back in the saddle, causing the pony to wring its tail in protest. Danilo's anguish brought back the wretched fight surrounding Crystal Di Asturien's pregnancy. Regis ought to have told Danilo himself, but the news had come, in the most spiteful manner, from Dyan Ardais. Danilo had been hurt and outraged, then as now. His sense of betrayal had not arisen from Regis sleeping with a woman but from the secrecy about an event that had the power to drastically alter both their lives.

"I've never kept my relationship with Linnea secret," Regis protested. "You knew that if I ever gave in to Grandfather's demands, she would be the one. You and she got along tolerably well, and I thought of her as a friend. More than that, she is of my own choosing, not some brood mare selected for me by the Council."

"What a nice, convenient solution!" Danilo barked. "You get your grandfather and the Council off your back and Comyn Castle gets a chatelaine, all at very little trouble to yourself!"

Regis bit back a hot reply. His temper had been in shreds when they began this conversation, and it was increasingly difficult not to take out his frustration on Danilo.

"I suppose what decided me," Regis said, trying his best to speak calmly, "was seeing little Kierestelli. I had no idea a child could bring me such delight. I don't want her to grow up not knowing me."

"And this is why you proposed to her mother, without so much as mentioning the possibility? Excuse me, vai dom, but that is nonsense. You could have ordered the child to be fostered in Thendara, where you might see her at your convenience."

In his memory, Regis saw the snug little room, heard the lilt of Linnea's harp and the sweetness of Kierestelli's flute. In a low voice, he said, "It would not be the same."

Had he finally encountered something in life in which Danilo had no part? Sadness shivered through him.

How can I choose between them . . . the man I love, to whom I am sworn, and the family I never knew I longed for?

It came to him, in a rush that left him breathless and his hands limp on the reins, that Danilo had made exactly this choice. Made it with without hesitation, without a backward glance, without ever a hint of recrimination at the cost.

"Danilo, do you ever regret what you have given up? I know you were raised cristoforo and they do not look kindly upon lovers of men. You must have been taught to want a wife and family . . ."

"I am hardly an observant cristoforo. It was my father's faith, one I accepted without question when I was a child," Danilo said with such bleak finality that Regis could think of nothing that would reach him. "As for the other matter, do not trouble yourself. I have never thought to marry, my lord. I am entirely at your service. Perhaps next time you will see fit to advise me before you decide to marry."

Regis raised one hand to his heart, to ease the ache there. He could not remember such a gulf between them. And he did not know what to do to bridge this one.

"Danilo . . . "

"Regis, let it go. Please. We're both hurt and angry, but it will pass."

Danilo was right. The proposal had touched a sore point, one that might never be resolved. It was best to let the matter rest and to go on as best they could, knowing they would always have each other.

Neologisms

Sep. 13th, 2009 05:04 pm
deborahjross: (Oka)
This came to me via email, so I have no idea if the attribution is correct, but it's amusing nonetheless

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning
submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers
are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
***********************************************************

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.



The winners are:


1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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Deborah J. Ross

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