Here via Metaquotes, and I just wanted to say thank you so much for posting this. It sounds like you have arrived at a very wise, loving place.

We as a society do seem to have "whatever it takes" expectations about helping our loved ones, and sometimes that's just not realistic. But because no one ever talks about it, the person who is "left" often feels abandoned and angry (as you noted) while the person who "leaves" often feels guilty, helpless, and inadequate. I know I did.